It didn’t occur to my that I was about to be an older mom until my first midwife appointment when it was bluntly pointed out! I was like – I’m 35 not 75!!
Having children was not something I’d ever longed for. We had just returned to London after 7 years of living in the US & none of our friends there had babies. We enjoyed our carefree lifestyle. The decision to try for a baby was more a case of ‘well, let’s roll the dice and see what happens’ – not really expecting anything to happen given that I’d spent half of my life up to that point trying not to get pregnant!
I was living in London at the time and all of my friends had had their first babies in their early 30’s so 35 didn’t seem that much older to me at the time, it just seemed the norm in my social circle at that time.
It wasn’t until we moved out of London to a rural area in the south west of England and my son started preschool that I realised that I was older than all the other moms there.
I remember one of the younger moms saying that she’d be 40 when her youngest of 4/5 turned 16. I was thinking ‘fucking hell’, when mine turns 16 I’ll be 51😱😱
When I decided I was ready to try for #2 around the time my son was 3.5yes old I expected things to just happen very quickly as they had with my son – got pregnant first month of trying. My body however, had other ideas.
I had all the investigations as to why I wasn’t conceiving, I have a v short luteal phase and do ended up taking a drug called Clomid to get things going. It didn’t.
Our next option was IVF, at this point I really wasn’t sure I wanted a second child that badly so we sort of decided that we were cool with one. TBH it was more out of not wanting my son to be an only child that we were even considering a second.
So…. Fast forward about 6 months or so and the very day we completed on an absolute wreck of a house I discovered I was pregnant. Shock doesn’t begin to describe it… I think I spent the whole pregnancy in a state of depression, anxiety & denial.
My sons birth was a horror show, having started off in the birthing pool with the whale music and all then ended up having an emergency C-Section with 2 failed epidurals along the way. So after that I decided the only way I was ever having another baby was by an elective section. Anyway enough of that!
My waters broke 5 weeks early with my daughter & I had to stay in hospital for a week before she could be born.
I remember a women being admitted in the bed next to mine and from behind the flimsy curtain I could hear the nurse asking for the woman’s date of birth – I can’t remember it exactly but she was 20 yrs old & I was 41. I wasn’t sure which was worse!
Fast forward a few months and going our to baby groups. I was far and away the oldest of the moms. Not being local didn’t help. Same when my daughter started preschool except there was another oldie from London so I didn’t feel too bad. My daughter is now 8 & lots of the grandmothers of the kids her her class are only a few years older than me – i might be imagining it but sometimes on a bad day when I catch them looking at me I think that they are wondering if I’m the granny? 😱
Best bit about being older – nothing fazes me, worst bit – I’d love more energy & I do sometimes worry about dying too soon but hey that can happen to the younger moms too 💗
I’ve just started taking hormone replacement so now I’m sleeping again and I’ve got more patience in handling my 8 going on 14 year old daughter. She keeps me on my toes for sure, I told her recently that I was considering having my hair really white blond cos I’m fed up with having my grey roofs done and she said that she didn’t think it would suit me. When I dared to enquire why she said because of all my wrinkles 😱🤣