“And we who loved the world must learn the language of absence: days foreshortened, empty rooms, the irrevocable distance between the goodbye and the letting go.” -Joe Bolton

My 50th birthday in January has had me reflecting a lot on my story, my impact, what I’ll leave behind for my son.

Becoming a parent later in life has meant that my kiddo has a mama who is already tarnished a bit. To get older is to become acquainted with loss. And my son’s experience of his mother is likely different than it would have been had I had him when I was younger.

I can only hope that the tarnish is offset by the rubbed down glimmers of gratitude that also come with aging.

I hope he gets both of these qualities from me in tandem: the wisdom and grace that are earned through life experience, and the shine and rebirth that inevitably arrive once one has endured and passed through loss.

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